EEEEEWWWWWWWW!

This is just wrong!

I had to share this. Well, seeing that I will probably never be pysically pregnant(as oppossed to paper pregnant which we will be in a month or so)-at least no one will ever make a revolting statue of me. I, like most people, think of Ms. Spears as a no-talent ,trailer park, please-cover-up-your-fat-you-are-not-cute-as-you-once-were girl who always desperatly needs her roots touched up, BUT I do feel a little bad for her. I would not be a happy camper if someone used my likeness for this!


On another note, my wonderful agency, CCAI finally has my 171H, fully authenticated and certified. They said within the next 10 days, we will be DTC(see below post on acronyms : ) ) That is cause for a nice wine and dine night on the town!

And she shall be called....

So I made the executive decision that she, the baby, our dauther, Amelie, this wonderful bundle of love we are forever waiting for will be referred to during this wait as....the Empress. Or Empress A. I like it. Better than princess. That, as I have discussed before, is already taken by someone in this family. That would be me. Besides, I have a funny feeling she will rule the roost and Empress trumps Princess. Guess David is the jester?

More Acronyms than a chemistry class!

I decided to post this just this once as a reference to all future posts. I am still learning all the adoption acronyms that people throw around. When we go to dinner with other FCC (can't go too long without an acronym-Families with Chinese Children), people around us probably think we are speaking in code, like we are Russian spies or alien invaders.

So, here is the abbreviated list for your reviewing:
FCC (families with chinese children)
CCAA (chinese center for adoption affairs-the branch of the chinese gov't that handles all of our paperwork)
HS (homestudy)
DH/DD (dear husband, dear daughter....these are dumb, I never use them)
I600 (application to adopt abroad)
171H (approval from the USCIS to adopt abroad)
USCIS (Formerly known as the INS)
CCAI (our wonderful agency-Chinese Children Adoption International)
DTC (Dossier to China)
LID (Log in Date-this occurs a few weeks after your DTC)
TA (travel approval)

I have a couple other acronyms that I could use for this whole process, which most days stinks like dog poo, but I'll keep them to myself. I know my church friends are reading.....

Celebrity Watch

Since I have nothing new to share regarding the adoption-just waiting on my 171 to get all it's pretty little stamps before my agency gets it-I thought I'd share something somewhat funny. Last week we went with some friends to the Old Key Lime house in Lake Worth for lunch. Great place by the way. It got all but demolished during the hurricane and they are putting up a huge tiki type roof over the whole outside. Anyhow... Halfway through our lunch, our friend Ferny noticed a B list celebrity a few tables away. Ok, not so exciting, but it was Kendra, the winner from season three of the Apprentice. Not terribly exciting, I know. Like I said, slow week. It was funny when some others in our party started singing "money, money, money, money...moneeeey".

I promise not to update my blog with anything equally or less interesting than this, or else I will lose all readers.

Kiss me, I'm Irish

Happy St Patties Day! I am actually fully one half Irish(I beleive)-or at least 1/4 Irish and 1/4 Scottish-close enough!

You're 40% Irish

You're probably less Irish than you think you are... But you're still more Irish than most.

How Irish Are You?

Your Irish Name Is...

Chloe Fitzpatrick

What's your Irish Name?

No kidnapped babies for adoption!

Ok, so a few weeks back someone posted an article on my blog that was in the Washington Post. It painted Chinese adoption in a very negative light and suggested that all Chinese adoption is corrupt. It stated how there was all of these babies being stolen in China from their mothers and put on the black market. Yes, I agree that blackmarketing babies is a horrendous act, but I am also pretty sure that the article is very slanted and the writer I am sure had his own agenda(maybe he works for an agency that deals with Korea or Russia, who knows?) This article was floating around several of the China adoptive parents yahoo groups and scared the crap out of some of us. Most people choose to adopt from China because it is seen as a straightforward, non-corrupt process. Luckily, a few days later this article came out. (BTW-who did send me that first article, the name was "anonymous"?-note to all friends, let me know who you are, I love reading your feedback!!)

By JOE MCDONALD
ASSOCIATED PRESS WRITER

BEIJING -- The Chinese government says that an investigation found no children involved in a recent baby-trafficking case were adopted by American families, a U.S. State Department official said Wednesday.

The U.S. government asked the official China Center for Adoption Affairs to investigate after state media said abducted babies were sold to welfare homes in the southern city of Hengyang and later adopted by foreign couples. The United States is the leading destination for Chinese babies adopted abroad.

"The CCAA informed us that it had concluded its investigation into all of the children from Hengyang adopted by Americans and found that all of these children were legitimately orphaned or abandoned and that there are no biological parents searching for them," the U.S. official, who declined to be identified further in line with State Department rules, said from Washington.

YIPPPPEEEEE!

The setting: A beautiful March day(the 16th), 2006
Where: Kristen and David's home/office

Ring, ring

Me: Apex Lending can I help you?
The voice on the other line(TVOTOL): Hi, Kristen?
Me: This is she?
TVOTOL: This is Phyllis at USCIS. Congrats honey, you and your husband are approved. Your 171H is in the mail.
Me: OHMYGOSHThankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouyouarethebestyoudon'tknowhowmuchIappreciate youcallingmecanIcomehugyou... (I was talking like Molly Shannon's character in Superstar and SNL, Mary Katherine Gallagher...sometimes when I get really nervous, I put my hands under my arms and go like this...sniffffff)
TVOTOL: (interupting)...um well, anyhow, congratulations, you should receive it shortly .

So, there it is. Then I called my good friend Amy M who invited me over for a congratulatory lunch and big fat glass of "yippee for you" Reisling

Hopefully I will get this in a few days, then it's off to be notarized, certified and authenticated-that will take two weeks. After that it will be "critically reviewed" along with our other huge stack of dossier paperwork already sitting at the agency. That will take another 10-15 days. Then we are DTC(dossier to China-or officially paper pregnant)! Yipppppppeeeeeeeeeeeee part 1!

Weird Week!

Whew, someone please get me off this rollercoaster! Ok, so here is my last week. You saw my post last week about the USCIS. My case worker is switching positions, can't tell me who is taking over but don't worry, just another 4-6 months til we process your application. Yeah, that was fun. Ok, now if you don't beleive in God, stop reading here.

I was reading on the bible on Sunday in prepration for a bible study class on Monday. I read in Genesis about how Joseph could analyze people's dreams. I never give much thought to my own dreams, if I can remember them at all. I usually delete them from my brain's harddrive before I hit the second snooze alarm. But Sunday night I had this strange and very very vivid dream. I couldn't shake it when I woke up. Now, before I tell you about the dream, you must know I was praying very very hard for God to give me both patience and to hurry up and the INS moving on our paperwork.

Now to my dream: I dreamed that there was a nasty storm in the middle of the night and for some reason I had to cross this covered wooden bridge. The floor of the bridge was missing most of the floor planks and it was about 20 feet over this long expanse of ocean. There were two people helping me cross that bridge. The person in front of me I did not recognize, only that he had longish blond hair-but he was a surfer type. The person in back of me was my dad, who in real life passed away 5 years ago. They helped me reach the other side. I am not sure what was on the other side, I wke up shortly after that.

Can anyone else read into that? I saw the bridge as this crazy road to adoption. The person in front of me was probably God, or rather, no doubt God. My dad represented my dad as well as my family and friends who are backing me up. The water, I thought was the difficult waters of adoption, but speaking to my mom(who is one of the only people I shared this with)-she said it was probably the Pacific Ocean and the other side, safe and sound is your daughter in China.

Ok, so for those of you who think I am nuts, that's ok. Guess what happened about an hour ago? The head of the adoption department at INS(USCIS) called to tell me she is wrapping up our file tonight. I believe. God is good.

Ok, my martini friends...check this out and let me know what you are!

You Are A Blueberry Martini

You are a eclectic drink - liking to change drinks and venues often. You are usually the first of your friends to find a cool new dive bar or cocktail. You should never: Drink mystery drinks strangers hand you. Unless you want to wind up in foreign country. Your ideal party: Is mobile, hopping from party to party. Your drinking soulmates: Those with an Orange Martini personality. Your drinking rivals: Those with a Chocolate Martini personality.

What Flavor Martini Are You?

Ode to Hugh Jorgans

I am not being vulgar here by saying "Hugh Jorgans". That is the name of our piano bar in Delray Beach that is going the way of City Limits, Powers and the Irish Cottage Pub...that is, sadly....gone. They used to do a version of that 70's song "Kung-Fu fighting" and would do funny "Confusius say ...A man who run behind car is exausted", but genreally they were a little more vulgar and alot funnier.

In honor of that fine establishment I found this. Click to find your fortune cookie saying. I love mine!

Your Fortune Is

An optimist is a girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

What's in a name?

Ok, so I need some advice. I know that it's still a long ways away before we pick up our little princess, and she probably isn't even born yet, but I am struggling with her name! Even before we decided to adopt, I fell in love with the name Amelie. I got the name from the french movie of the same name. If you haven't seen it, find a rainy weekend, snuggle up on the couch and watch this beautifully wonderful flick.

The problem is I am getting about one out of every four people hating the name because they can't pronounce it. I usually have to pronounce it a few times before the person I am talking to gets it right. The conversation usually goes something like this:
Them: So, did you decide on any names yet?
Me: Well, um, sort of. We are leaning towards one. The middle name will be Josphine after Dave's mom, but we like Amelie as a first name.
Them: Oh, Emily is pretty
Me: Well, close, it's pronounced ah-mah-Lee(think french here, the last syllable is stressed)
Them: Oh AHH-me-lee
Me: Close, just a little more stress on the end.
Them: oh ok, well, do you think people will call her Emily
Me: Not if I can correct them.

Now, I really do adore the name, and maybe if we moved to Paris(hey, not a bad idea), the name pronounciation would be easy. But, as much as I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the name, as it is unique, not in the top 20 but still normal , do I want to go through this all the time? Plus, I have to be honest with myself...what will happen when she has to pronounce her name in pre-school? Ask any 2 or 3 year old their name and you can barely understand them. Everyone will assume she is trying to say Emily and has a speech impairment.

So, here are my two alternatives.
1. Gianna (Gigi for short)
2. Gabriella(Gabbi, Brie, or Ella for short)
If we use either one of these, when we go get her Mei Mei(little sister) from China we can use the other name. Oh, sorry David honey, you didn't get the memo?

I can't think of any knicknames for Amelie. Then again, since my whole family called me at all times Princess K(youngest child of 6-only girl), the princess status and name will no doubt be passed on to her-Princess A perhaps(nah, don't like it, surely she'll be teased by school kids). I am looking forward to being promoted to Queen though. Ha, ha!

On a funny note, my mom and her husband called me after a few bottles of wine a few months ago and they were discussing names. They decided on Omorosa Ella. Put that with our last name and say it three times fast (which I won't do here to protect our privacy a bit). Charming, isn't it?

A kinder, more gentle poster

Just wanted to say thanks so much for everyone who has read my posts! Leave comment-just a simple hi-love your post-love, insert name here! By the way, these posts are meant to be somewhat light-hearted, tongue in cheek. Most of my comments are only half serious, just trying to add some humour to this process. After all, if I don't laugh through this, I'll go insane! Some people commented on some of my posts, stating I was being too harsh and too sensitive. I REALLLLY hope it was someone I don't know, they didn't leave their name and made me feel just a teensy bit bad about my writings. I am a sarcastic person by nature, but I'll try to tone it down. Just a little. Just a very little. Keep readin, and hey, remember to laugh.

If we weren't crazy we would go insane-warning, another spewing post

Ok, so I just received an e-mail from the person at the USCIS we were originally assigned to. Back in January, she sent an e-mail stating she would be out for a few months and she gave me the name of someone else who would be taking over. Today, our original gal told me via e-mail that she is chaing positions. No biggie, I thought, someone else is working our file. Wrong! Our file has been sitting on her desk since December 14th and has not moved. There goes the origami theory. And, she can't tell me who will be working on it. All she could tell me is it may take another 4-6 months.
I am just at my wit's end today and had to vent!!!!!!

Thoughts on what the USCIS is doing with our paperwork...

Ok, so someone at Congressman Clay Shaw's office finally got ahold of our paper-pusher at the USCIS(formerly known as the INS-they change names more times than P Diddy). Shaw's office was told our file was taking longer because David is not a citizen. What the frick? Ok, this makes NO sense to me. Wouldn't it take less time because all of his information is already in their system? To use my favorite word as a teenager..."Whatever"!

So, here are my thoughts to what they are actually doing with our file
1. Building an office fort or igloos.
2. Practicing origami
3. Having paper airplane competitions.

I guess we'll find out which one it is if and when it comes back to us with various folds in the papers!

Any thoughts on what they are doing?