November Referrals

Congrats to all those who will soon meet your babies! The CCAA just sent referrals for those with LID's of 08/26/05 and 09/08/05. A measly 13 days. Not even a half month. This wait will just keep getting longer. I don't think we will meet her until after the Olympics in Bejing -summer of 2008.

In the meantime, I will share the newest Marvin cartoon...I hope this looks like our Thanksgiving table next year....

New, slightly healther, yet temporary obsession

For the past few weeks I have been a good girl and only stalked the rumor queen pages a few times a day. Why the change you ask? I have found a new reason to wear out the refresh key.

www.skiutah.com

It's 11 degrees and snowing there today. 24 inches in the past 2 days...we are off in 6 days, 12 hours and 18 minutes, not that anyone is counting!

Today's episode is brought to you by the number 7

Just passed another LID anniversary on Friday. Luckily, we were so busy in Atlanta that I truly did not think about the wait at all. I thought about the adoption and we all talked about Amelie, but the wait did not get to me at all! We'll have to get out of town more often-oh wait, we are! Off to Park City, Utah in 9 days!

Georgia on my mind

Just got back from our Thanksgiving week in Atlanta. It was nice to get away to see my brother and sis-in-law, but wish we had a few more days with them. It took us 13 hours to get up there because we worked on the way-we had to find hotels and restuarants with wireless services but we got the job done. Ok, so a little run down on our trip:

On Wednesday while David went to a library to work, Devanie( my sis-in-law) and I went shopping for Thanksgiving dinner at the DeKalb International Food market. If you ever in Atlanta, you must go there. It's an indoor market the size of 3 Costcos. The veggie and fruit section is the size of a Publix and had produce from all over the world, most of which I had never heard of before. There are two full aisles full of marinades and dressings, two ailes just with teas and a huge ginormous wine section. I could spend the day there just browsing, and we nearly did because of the amount of shoppers there. After our shopping exursion, we picked up David and went to see her new pottery/glass-making studio. We then went to the Atlanta Cycloroma and learned all about the Civil War. I am usually bored to pieces by that type of thing, but I enjoyed it very much. We then walked around the adjoining park and admired the fall leaves. That night we stayed home and made some preperations for the next day. We also got into a few bottles of wine, and danced around the living room all night. My brother put on a Led Zepplin DVD and I told him to turn off the Whitesnake. That was the laugh of the trip....but I guess you had to be there. Poor Devanie who rarely drinks was in no shape to cook the next day. Good thing she made the pumkin pie at 2 am, even though she doesn't remember. It was actually quite good!

On Thursday(Turkey Day), we made the rest of dinner, watched the parade and the dog show(a stupid poodle won, again...but a Wheaten came in 2nd place in the terrier group so I was thrilled) then ate our big fat meal, wacthed football, drank some more wine and hit the hay early(must have been the wine/turkey tryptophan combo.

On Friday my brother had to work, so David, Dev and I went to Stone Mountain Park and climbed to the top to work off the 10,000 calories consumed the prior two days. It's just 1.4 miles to the top, but some of it is steep and slippery and my buns felt like buns of stell after(sadly, they don't look like it). We parked over 2 miles from the actual mountain (it's really a giant hill made of granite), so it really was a good workout. That night we went out for Italian (because we needed to replenish the 10,000 calories we burned) and then to a funky bar/restuarant to meet some old pals I hadn't seen since high school for some drinks. We had been in touch for months now looking forward to meeting up. They even called a few hours before and said they had a sitter, but alas....I got stood up. Oh well, I just got to catch up more with my family.

That's it folks! Trying to get my brother and SIL to get their buns down here, Dev has never been to Key West and it's about time. I think we could tear up that town! It's sad that we go almost 2 years without seeing each other, but maybe once Amelie comes they will miss her and we'll see them more often.

Road trip

D and I are heading to Hotlanta to see my brother and sis-in-law for Thanksgiving. I hope that by the time we get back, there will be some update as far as rumors go for this month's referrals. I pray they do more than two weeks this time! Happy turkey day all!

Unreal

This is from an article in a UK newspaper, I can't imagine how I would feel if I were in these people's shoes!

Police sorry after race-quiz outrage

Police have apologised to a white dad who was quizzed by officers after taking his two mixed-race daughters out for a pizza.
Paul Wrightson was questioned by the officers because they thought a white man with two Asian girls was suspicious.
But it has sparked fury from the family and particularly Mr Wrightson who fears he will be under suspicion when out with daughters Sita, 18, Asha, 15, and Sonia, 13.
Mr Wrightson, 43, of Bingley, has been married to his Asian wife Sherlinda, for 19 years. He had taken his two younger daughters for a treat at Pizza Hut in Bingley on Monday while their mum was busy helping a friend when he was asked by two Police Community Support Officers (PCSOs) to accompany them outside.

"We had caught the train from Forster Square in Bradford at about 6.40pm on Monday and we got off in Bingley. I took the girls to Pizza Hut for a treat and I had just finished my pizza when I noticed the officers come in.
"I joked with the girls that they were probably coming in for their tea. The two officers came over and asked me to come outside.
"One officer stayed in the restaurant with the girls and the other explained that a member of the public had seen a white man with two Asian girls acting suspiciously," he said. The officer asked Paul if he could prove he was their father and he explained that he didn't have any sort of documentation because he had met his girls after work to get some dinner.
Paul said the PCSO told him it looked strange a white man being with two Asian girls. "I just gave him my name and my date of birth," he added.
In the meantime a female PCSO asked Asha and Sonia who Mr Wrightson was and they also explained that he was their dad.
Asha also told the officer that she was embarrassing them and that the whole restaurant was looking at them.
Paul was eventually able to go back to his daughters who were visibly upset by the questions that the officer had been asking. "Is it getting to the stage where I can't go out with my own daughters?" asked Paul, who works at Dudley Hill Carpets.
Sherlinda, 46, who is a catering assistant at St Luke's Hospital, told the Telegraph & Argus that her daughters and her husband were all very upset by the incident and in particular the way that the officers handled the situation.
"I was devastated when Paul told me what happened. I've never come across anything like it my life. I was beside myself and one of my daughters had trouble sleeping that night," she said.
Paul has received an apology from an Inspector and Sergeant at Bingley Police Station and he hopes that this does not happen to another family.
"I shouldn't have to explain to anyone who I am when I have done nothing wrong expect take my daughters out for a meal. This may have been the first time that this has happened but does that mean it is going to be the last?"
Sherlinda said that she hoped the police would be more sensitive and a bit more open-minded in the future.
"They should be more open- minded, I mean we are living in a multi-cultural society. When I married Paul it was in more difficult times. I expect people to more open-minded now."
A spokesman for West Yorkshire Police said: "We responded to a report made in good faith by a concerned member of the public. We apologise for any inconvenience or embarrassment that was caused."

Just a little cuteness to brighten up the day

This is an adorable picture of Samantha, she will turn one in just a few days. I am looking forward to being at her very first birthday party!

Also had to show you another too cute comic!

Adjustment issues

On Tuesday we went to our monthly FCC meeting. There was an attachment therapist there who gave us waiting parents (and a few already back folk) some great advice on dealing with attachment. Alot of this I have heard before, but it doesn't hurt to hear it over and over again. For instance, as much as we want our family and friends to be able to hold and hug and kiss on the Empress, this is a huge no no. The biggest piece of advice she could give is don't take any advice from people who only are parents to bio kids. How you raise bio kids and adopted kids is a 180 degree difference. I am already getting the deer in the headlight look when I tell friends and family that the Empress will be sleeping either in our bed or in our room for at least the first year. This goes against everything a bio child should do. Strollers are strongly advised against, they want her to be carried in a snuggli for as long as possible. No trips or vacations for the first year either, unless it's a quiet trip to see family and even then the babe needs to be within eyesight 100% of the time. Another must: limit stimulation-have very little toys around and keep the nursery-if you have one as she will be in our room-in minimalist style. Use red if you can, because that is the one color that is everywhere in China. So much for my pottery barn watermelon pink and lime green theme! The most interesting thing she should have is us.

Why all of these crazy rules you say? The first year she is home, we must recreate for her what the first year would have been like if she was ours biologically. She needs to become totally dependent on us. Even if she is 18 months when she comes home and can feed herself, we can't let her. I know alot of people looking outside in will think us FCC parents are over protective, too uptight, somewhat nutso, but these things must be done in order to have a healthy toddler and a healthy adult later on. The thinking is she must go through all of her stages, even when we have to start at stage one.

Some other interesting advice the therapist gave us:

- Practice alot of eye contact, usiing mirrors if she won't look directly at you

-Learn a few words in Chinese. While we are in China, she'll still have some familiar smells, tastes, ect...but once we get home, everything will be unfamiliar. Kinda like taking someone from Amish country and bringing them to Vegas by themselves. It would probably be frighteneing. If we speak some Chinese to her, she'll have something familiar to her.

-Exchange something of value for something the nanny or fostermom wore, so that she has that familiar scent around her.

-Buy a Chinese lullaby cd to play at night.

-when you hold her to rock her to sleep, cradle her in your arms so she can have that eye contact.

-Tell her that she had a story before she came in her forever home, she wasn't just adopted, she was born.

-One Mother's day, light a candle for fer birth mother. This will help deal with the grief she will always have.

One thing I was very happy about Tuesday was the new families that I met. We are no longer the last ones to get our baby. Two new couples have Oct 06 LID's, and they will travel after us. I am not trying to sound selfish here, it'll just be nice to have people before and after us!

Comic Relief

Did you see in the daily comic page that Marvin has a new little sister? Just adopted from China. Love it! Check more of her out here ! Her name is Ming Ming. Kinda sounds like a panda's name, but still....

Lucky

Although I really would love to see a few leaves change color or some snow on the ground, I am so happy to live in the Sunshine state. Friday we met some friends who were in town from Michigan. They went scuba diving that morning and caught twentysome lobsters and a giant grouper. We reaped their rewards and stuffed our bellies with the delicious crustaceans and fish fillets that evening. Tonight some friends from college invited us over to join them in enjoying a fresh caught dolphin they caught off of a drift boat earlier in the day (is that a run-off sentence, sorry Professor Rose). One day D and I are going to live in the Keys (where I grew up) and live like the song "Tin Cup Chalice" by Jimmy Buffett. My favorite line is "Give my oysters and beer, for dinner everyday of the year, and I'll feel fine".

On another note, just want to say congrats to Cyndi and Jon & Fernando and Neal on their beautiful new two week old babies! Lily and Sebastian are so stinkin' cute! Remember a few months ago when I whined, I mean wrote about how everyone I knew was pregnant. Well, now everyone I know has a newborn. Well, almost everyone. My sis in law is having the twins anyday now, and then seriously, everyone I know will have a newborn, or newborns. But that's ok, I don't have to get up every 3 hours right now, so it's a very very very small consolation for me. I do love my sleep-and my seafood. Good night-going to go dream of Amelie. And swordfish in a lemon buerre blanc sauce.

I broke down...

Oh boy. I said I wouldn't. I promised myself "not til we are out of the review room", but...I did it. I bought the Empress some too-cute-to-be-passed-up-plus-they-were-on-the-sale-rack clothes. Ok, I will try to be good from here on it, seeing that we have another two years, but it's going to be so hard. I almost bought her a winter outfit today-but there is two problems with that-we live in Florida(it's 86 here today) and I haven't a clue how big she will be her first Christmas here. We'll be off to Park City in three weeks, I may come back with a 2T ski outfit. I just may!

Another possible hold-up?

A couple of agencies are now confirming that if you are asked questions in the review room your dossier will be batched with whatever month is in the review room for your agency at the time that all questions are resolved. Right now they are reviewing Feb-April 2006. So, anytime between now and January, we can be called by our agency and asked to clarify some things. David was not able to get his birth certificate certified and authenticated in Colombia. We sent it along with a letter of explanation with our fingers, toes and every other body part crossed that they would accept it as is. If the CCAA won't move our file forward without it, David will have to trek back down to South America. That could take weeks or even months to do. I know, I am just working myself up into a tizzy as usual, but if that does happen, our file will no longer have an April LID date. It could be much much later, and as you know, they take 2-3 months to get though each LID month. In other words, if we are pushed back with the June LID files, it could mean an additional 4-6 months of waiting. Keep your happy thoughts on us so that they have NO QUESTIONS! I really need some part of these to go smoothly!

Material girl

I have to say, alot of people are giving Madonna critism on what appeared to be a spur of the moment decision to adopt from Africa. This is fact, not actually the case. According to Madonna, she actually was in the process of adopting for years and said it was the hardest thing she has ever been through (Amen, sista). She just did not publicize her desire to adopt, and really, who blames her? I love her response to a stupid question regarding the adoption in Time magazine:

"And by the way, say I did cut the queue? Say I did cheat and not have to wait two years to adopt a child? Well good for me! Do you know how many children are going to die in the next two years? It's a stupid law. Change the law."

I totally agree. I mean, I know they have to do background checks, doctors visits, ect on all of us waiting parents, but waiting more than a year for an orphan from any country is just wrong, especially for the children. See my previous post, which made me tear up while I was writing it. I haven't been a fan of her music since I myself was wearing leg warmers watching Family Ties and the Facts of Life, but you have to give this lady some respect.

Missing the good stuff

Today my friend Cynthia stopped by with her precious two week old baby girl Lily Anna. I got to hold her for a little while and smell that sweet newborn baby hair and watch her teeny face wrinkle up as she dreamed her innocent dreams. As I looked down at her, I was sad for a moment. You see, Amelie will be anywhere from 9-18 months when we meet her. Sure, I am a little sad for David and I that we won't have the chance to have a newborn in our arms to call our own, but I am more sad for Amelie. She will have 9 or 12 or 15 or 18 months with no one to comfort her cries in the middle of the night, no one to kiss her boo boo's when she falls down, no one to take seious note of her first crawl or first step. Yes, she will have nannies to witness some of her first's, but no one will jot down the dates of these first's in a baby book. No one will take pictures of her firsts and frame them on the fridge or on the dresser. I know she will be loved by the nannies at the orphanage, but she just won't have all of the love and attention a baby needs and deserves that first year of her life. We'll just have to somehow make up for at all when she is home, safe with her forever mom and dad.

Whew

Ok, I just want to say a big fat congrats to all of those August 9-25 LID'ers who got their referral today. The CCAA really had everyone on the edge of their seat not letting on as to when they were going to give out referrals. Even though they were a week late giving out referrals, they did 15% more than the usually do. This is a great sign. I hope they can continue to speed up. I hate to keep whining, but I just don't want to imagine waiting until the end of 2008 to meet Amelie! I miss my girl already. Is it possible to miss someone you have never met?