Last night I had the strangest dream

No, really.....and I can't analyze it one bit.

My dream starts off with me living with a few college roommates. David is no where to be found in this dream. We are at a pool party and I get the referral call. I ask the voice on the other end where I go now and she says "You have to come to the ladies shoe department at Sears to get your information". So, I rush to this old three story mall and run through the entire mall, sweating, to get to Sears (why didn't I just park at Sears, who knows). Once I get to the entrance I look up and see it doesn't say Sears but ChinaWorld. I run to the shoe department and this little old Chinese lady screams at me to "Calm Dow, Calm Dow"! She instructs me to get in line behind a group of 10 guys getting their law degree from Florida A & M University. I have to wait until they get their degrees, then I will be handed my referral. I am clearly flirting with one that looks like Taye Diggs. So, the guys get their degrees and then I get handed a crumpled up piece of paper with a picture of a 9 year old girl on it. Her name is Xiou Zaw and her DOB is 04/10/81. I start crying to the lady "But, she's 9 (note the DOB, she's really 26), I asked for a baby! " And then she takes the picture, rips it up and says "No baby for you", then I woke up.

Over the hump?

Here we are. Officially over the year and a half mark. I keep telling myself the WORSE case scenario brings our referral in April of 2009.

Did I celebrate this mark yesterday? Not too much. I spent the evening with my pooches curled up on the couch with me reading my new favorite book. If you are in the process of adopting, or just want to know what we are going through please read China Ghosts, My Daughter's Journey to America, My Passage to Fatherhood. You can read more about it at www.chinaghosts.com As the title states, it's about a father's journey to his baby girl adopted from China. I wiped away many tears reading this book. It could very well have been about D and I. The father was happy with just he and his wife, even after the infertility treatments, he figured being childless was meant to be. His wife he said however was "hurt down to her soul without a child of her own". She brought up the idea of China, and though the wait was horrendous (they adopted during the SARS epidemic and waited two years) they never looked back. It's a great read, only took me a day (night) and a half to finish it. There is alot of good information in there about the one child policy and explains that most of these abandoned girls are actually second daughters, most of them have an older sister out there still living with the biological family. The writer explains that he believes his daughter will always have these "China Ghosts" surrounding her, who are her biological family wondering what ever became of her......

And we wait.....

Sorry I haven't been around, painting the living room and installing crown molding has been an overwhelming task.

As we approach the 18 month mark next week...it seems the closer we get, the more I feel that our lives are on hold. We have to be past the halfway mark. Period.

Referrals are finally through November 2005. It took the CCAA SIX months to get through Nov 05 LID's. Holy crap. From what I understand it will take them a full year to get through April 07 LID's because it was such a huge influx of dossiers (people submitting before the May 07 rule changes). Not to be selfish, but THANK GOD we have an April 06 LID and not an April 07! There are only four and a half months worth of files in China until they get to ours. As you know, the only problem is this doesn't mean we'll have our referral in four and half months. Oh no, not even close. It could actually be anywhere from 12 months to eek-24 more months or beyond, depending on how fast or slow the CCAA decides to go. If they keep referring out 5 days at a time, we have another 28 months to wait (Feb 2010), if they refer out 7 days at a time we have 20 months to wait (July 2009), and if they speed things up to 10 days at a time (very doubtful as they haven't accomplished 10 days in the last year and don't plan to probably), we will have 14 more months to wait and will have our referral by Christmas of next year.

Not knowing how much longer we have to wait to finally be parents is really getting to me lately. I feel like I can't plan anything beyond a couple of months from now. We want to go on one last ski trip, does that mean we have to go this season? When can I start decorating her room, when can I start looking for a pediatrician? When should I get my shots? Everything is in limbo and so so so frustrating!

Oh, and now there is word that the great CCAA says no-no to con-current adoptions. As in if you submit your paperwork somewhere else, then NO (Chinese) BABY FOR YOU! So going anywhere else is not an option.

If we only knew WHEN, life would be SO much easier...I know, I know, all in God's time and there is a reason for everything! Please people, I know those things are true but let's put a moratorium on those statements for a bit, until I get some zen back into my head. I'd rather hear "Well, that just sucks, let me buy you a drink". Oy vey!

More Mackinac Mayhem

Mackinac Island: Horse Poop, fudge and one fabulous wedding

Heather and Dan are finally married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole gang partook in Planes, Trains and Automobiles last week up to Mackinac Island. Actually, scratch the Trains and Automobiles and substitute Ferries and Horse and Carriages. The six of us did have to sprint through the entire Detroit airport to make our connecting flight in under 8 minutes, but that's another story......

Once we finally reached our destination we were in for a lovely wedding vacation. The water surrounding the 8 mile around island is crystal clear and the weather could not have been lovelier. The only mode of transport is bike or horse or on foot. We all got our share of exercise, but piled back on the calories through food and spirits.

The wedding itself was a beautiful outdoor gazebo event. The cocktail party the night before was held at the Grande. The Grande is a huge old hotel that boosts the longest patio in the US.

A picture is worth 1000 words, so here are a few to tell hte rest of the story!