Quilt square update

I just counted...I have 108! Yeah! But, if you didn't get me yours(hellloooooo family on both sides...) I am still pleading to include one from you!

And the long wait continues

More confirmation that our wait will be a very long one. Our big China agency only just predicted that the CCAA will only refer two weeks of LID's per month from now on. That puts us at March 2008 for a referral and travel in May or June 2008-which is when the Olympics in Bejing are being held. Not good, not good. Putting fingers in ears and saying "la,la, la,la, la...I can't hear you...la,la,la,la,la...."!

A Few Good Eggs

Reading a really funny book right now that is helping me deal with the whole infertility thing. The first few months after our LID, I kept thinking "yippeeeee...we are off to China eventually!". Now that a few months have passed, the initial excitement has worn off and my thoughts have turned to: "we may not get to China for a few years and the fact that everyone around me is pregant and probably will be a time OR TWO more is really getting me down, man".

I picked up the book "A Few Good Eggs" and it has definatly helped me cope by allowing me to realize that my feeling of "womb" envy are quite validated. The book kinda like "taking Charge of Your Fertility" meets "Sex in the City". It goes on to say that it's ok if I turn down alot of baby showers right now, particulary if the person isn't one of my close friends. For close friends, the book says, suck it up and put a smile on your face. Now, for those of you reading this whose shower I did turn down this year (Neal, Janna, Sori), I really did have other events planned for that day. I have witnesses, I have alibis! It's ok to vent a little when someone else gets pregnant, but not to the person who is actually pregnant. I have been doing well so far by living up to these rules of infertility living. Right? Right?

Another section of the book titled "when people you love say stupid things" really had me cracking up. I have heard so many of these comments, especially number 1 and 4, and I heard both of these on Sunday. So, here is "what not to say to a friend experiencing infertility":
1. Just don't think about it, and it will happen!
2. Maybe you're trying too hard. (Which is the same thing as, don't stress about it and it will happen. That has NOTHING to do with old, sleepy eggs and two headed sperm-yes, it's a real thing)
3. But I bet it's fun trying (sure, it's a blast and so romantic with the thermometer and all)
4. Just start to adopt-then you'll get pregnant! That happened to my friend's sister's hairdresser's cousin's teacher.
5. You are really lucky-you can do anything you want. We never get to go out anymore.
6. Don't worry, your'e still young. (Actually, now that I am 33, my eggs are going faster than a speeding bullett-sorry that is the most clever thing I can come up with on my Benedrly haze)
7. Anything new on the baby front?
8. Are you keeping your legs up after sex?
9. Does your husband wear boxers?
10. Are you taking your temperature?
11. Are you using and ovulation predictor kit? (I had someone ask me that a few weeks ago, I said rather sarcastically before I could stop myself "No, what are those?". I have in actuality spend hundreds on those in the course of two years)
12. You should probably have more sex.
13. You probably need a vacation.
14. I get pregnant just by looking at my husband. (I used to get this a-lot)
15. Give it time.
16. You can have my kids, they drive me nuts.

One in 5 couples over the age of 30 experience infertility. If you know a married couple and they don't have a baby within a few years of marriage, there is a good chance they are having issues. Maybe they just don't want kids yet or ever, but chances are they are having issues and don't feel like discussing it. I am an open book, too much so sometimes, but others aren't. I now know not to ask the dreaded "So, when are you going to have a baby"?

If you have a friend who is experiencing infertility the best thing you can say is "I don't want to keep asking you about the baby stuff, if you need to chat/vent/cry, please know I am here for you".

That is our lesson for today, class!

Bon Festival

Last night we attended the Bon Festival at the Morakomi Japenese Gardens in Delray. For those of you who don't know, Obon (Bon Festival) is a Buddhist event and one of the most important traditions for Japanese people. It is the period of praying for the repose of the souls of one's ancestors. People believe that their ancestors' spirits come back to their homes to be reunited with their family during obon. I thought of my Dad and Quincy and Aunt Teri quite a bit last night, even though I am not Buddest nor Japenese (really, shocked, aren't you?) We had a great time, even though it was 182 degrees at 7 pm. Of course the reason I really wanted to go was to see all of the little Asian girls dressed in their kimonos. And plenty I saw! Our neighbors were there, and their little girls are part Japenese. They had their summer kimonos on and spent most of the night playing some Japenese game that allows you to catch a goldfish (not unlike those days at the fair trying to throw ping-pong balls into the goldfish bowls). I swear I am going to kidnap one of them one day, I am in love with them! Ok, patience Kristen, and her mom might not be too happy. I was going to post a picture, but it is taking an hour to download!

FCC friends

David and I have been so lucky to be in a circle of a great bunch of couples who are also on this crazy adoption roller coaster. We started getting to know each other at the end of last year through "waiting families" meetings and discussed everything from serious subjects such as attachment issues to not so serious subjects such as should the $3500 cash we are required to take to China be shoved in our bras or in our underwear. In the past few months we have "kicked it up a notch" to use Emerril's line. We now get together once a month or so and have dinner or a bbq. Not only do I feel like I have a special connection to these people because of the adoption, but all of our little girls will be good friends as well. It's so important that our daughters have their "Chinese sisters" to relate to and bond with. I am very much looking forward to that chapter in my life. I just wish it was happening quicker(we have the latest LID of the group) , but in the meantime, I'll enjoy watching all of our FCC friends bring their babies home!

mean hubby!

So, there is now another pregnant girl in my building...that makes 7. Her name is Missy and she is brown. She would give me her baby, but David said no. Now before you read that sentece twelve times...Missy is a chocolate lab and the daddy is a yellow lab. Her human parents will give us one for free! But no....David is a big meanie, he doesn't like the shedding. I have to do some serious whining over the next few weeks! Wish me luck!

Cheeseball Alert!

So, D and I started dance lessons of the latin type last night...samba, salsa, rhumba, swing (yup, it's considered a latin dance). Go ahead, laugh it up. This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from 40 year old virgin.."Hey, you know how I know your'e gay?". It was a blast though. I thought I would do horrible, since I got kicked out of ballet when I was 4. My coordination has somehow improved during the last 29 years! I was actually quite impressed with myself, so was David. Even the instructor told us that we moved ahead much more quickly than 90% of his students. Then again 90% of his students are well, 90 I think.

Anyhow, if anyone is interested, they have three private lessons for just $20. It's a good "waiting for referral" distraction! We signed up for 20 lessons, we should be ready for season 5 of "So, you think you can dance?"! HA!

One small step....

Yesterday we received a nice surprise in the mail, it was the long awaited "brown envelope" . The brwon envelope is a letter from the American Consulate General in China acknowdedging that we have been approved by the INS to adopt an orphan from China. It doesn't really mean too much, it's just nice to know that they still have our file. The CCAA just moved offices over in China, and I was paranoid that our file would end up in a black hole! Right now, the reveiw room is going through the November 2005 files. Once our file is out of the review room(hopefully by the end of the year) we can breathe easier. After the review room, it goes to the matching room, which will take months and months and months. I believe we are still on track for an early 2008 referral, or early 2007 if we are lucky.

I added a new link on the right...it's a website desined specifically for April 2006 DTC families such as ourselves. We are called the Flying Tigers. It's nice to be able to chat with people who are in our same timeframe. We also do quilt square, kids books and secret pal swaps, it certainly helps to pass the time!

Everybody Hates Chris

No, not the show...never watched it. I am talking about the lovely little storm brewing by Puerto Rico and moving towards us. I feel like we just took our shutters down, and we did, just 9 months ago with Wilma. We are well prepared this year-we have a monster generator(good, becuase I just bought 3 weeks worth of groceries since David apparently couldn't find the store while I was up north). As Jimmy B would sing in one of his songs...tryin to reason with hurricane season.....

Back to the sunshine state!

I am so happy to be back to "cool" weather! It was 102 degrees when I left Maryland this morning. Holy Crap! It was too hot to do anything up there, so we couldn't do as many touristy things as usual, but I'll save those for when David and I drive up in the spring. We did get to go down to the Inner Harbor, went shopping and went to the Science center to see two Imax movies in 3-D. Saw a bunch of my family on Saturday and went to a very cool up-and-coming neighborhood called Canton for dinner and drinks last night. I had a prikley pear margarita and a quesadilla stuffed with crab, spinach, shitake, roasted red peppers and goat cheese. As if that wasn't enough to gorge myself on, we hit Vicarros(the famous Italian bakery) for a chocolate dipped cannolli afterwards. I cannot wait to get my butt back to the gym. The jeans that I had on the way up are too tight now. Embarassing but whatever.

On a very very ecstatic happy note, our friends Wendy and Ed received their referral yesterday for their daughter Samantha. She is too cute! The orphanages just love to dress the kids like they are going snowmobiling in Antartica for their pictures! I'll try to add a picture when I can, but I need to ask if they mind first!

Ok, off to unpack and smootch on my honey!

A small adoption update

Here is an article in a New Mexico newspaper. Finally, one congresswoman has listened to an adoptive family's plea to extend the 171H. She is going to try to get this bill passed. I really hope it does, I can't imagine having to redo EVERYTHING again and spend another 4 grand on all of the paperwork since our moneytree blew away with Hurricane Wilma last year:


Wilson Helps New Mexico Families with International Adoption
Introduces the Helping Families Adopt Orphans ActWashington, DC – Congresswoman Heather Wilson today announced she has introduced the Helping Families Adopt Orphans Act, legislation to aid families adopting orphans from foreign countries. “This legislation updates a policy on international adoption that makes sense, given the longer wait times families now experience in processing the adoption of orphans,” said Wilson. “This problem was brought to my attention by a constituent, and it is a simple change we can make to build strong families.”Andrew and Constance Johnson of Albuquerque had written to Wilson in May about the possibility that their I-171H form would expire before their adoption of an orphan from China was complete. “We wrote to Heather Wilson about our problem, and to our surprise we got a call from her office two weeks later saying she was introducing legislation to fix our problem,” said Constance Johnson. “My husband and I want to adopt a child from China, but we worry everyday that our paperwork will expire before we have our child. Reapplying would be expensive, time-consuming, and burdensome. The 18-month expiration no longer makes sense.” The legislation would extend the validity of the I-171H “Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition” form to at least two years. This form is issued by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service, an agency of the Department of Homeland Security. It is the final form needed to adopt international orphans and is the ticket to adoption for many families. The form is currently valid for 18 months, although the time needed to complete the adoption process has significantly increased over the last few years because of delays in travel approval, visas for orphans, and additional processing time to gain approval by foreign governments. The I-171H form has an application fee of $545, plus $70 per person for fingerprints. Several other forms are needed before receiving approval, including a home study to ensure the home is safe and stable, birth and marriage certificates, health and financial records, criminal background checks, and other information. The entire cost of international adoption can be thousands of dollars. If the form expires before the adoption is complete, a family must reapply and re-submit all applicable forms, fees, and evaluations. This can be prohibitively costly for many hopeful parents.

Waiter, there is a fly in my suitcase

Well, I am up in the great state of Maryland, enjoying a very relaxing week with my family doing not much of anything. My mom's house has a nice big back yard with a fabulous garden and gazebo. I have been sitting back there most of the day and reading. In the morning I have been getting up early and walking/jogging through the neighborhood hills. I thought I was in decent shape, but my calves are killing me from the inclines-no hills in the sunshine state! Last night we went to some funky art museum called the American Visionary Art museum. I guess you need a certain vision to appreciate that kind of art-most of it looked like a 5 year old painted it. We all kept looking at the "art" and then at each other and stuttered "Ohhhh-kaaaay?" After our rather short visit to the museum we headed to Little Italy in downtown Baltimore. It's a sin, but I have never been there in all of my visits up here so I insisted. Little Italy consists of 6 blocks of nothing but Italian restaurants and pastry shops. We finally settled on one place that looked exactly like the basement of the castle where we stayed at on our honeymoon in Italy. I loved it. They had a prix fix menu that included cesear salad, veal piccata and a ginormous piece of Tarimusu(I ate every last bite). I felt like Fat Bastard (Get In My BELL-AY) afterwards. Good thing I walked the hills this morning!

Oh, what is the title of this post all about? The first night here, about 1 am, a fly got into my room. I was up until 2:30 chasing it and trying to give it it's rightful death. I was trying so hard to not wake up the folks, but it's quite difficult since I was up and down on the bed, swatting at the curtains, the lamp, the ceiling fan, the ceiling. I finally allowed it to meet it's dimise by spraying it with a half a can of hairspray. I should have thought of that in the first place.

Well, gotta run, have to go to the drugstore, I need to replace the hairspray!

Book Worm

I certainly have been catching up with my reading lately. As I have written before we don't(gasp) have cable, and as with cable, there is usually shit on tv(I can say shit, our pastor said it during the sermon said it this morning, it was really funny and he turned bright, bright red...oops). Anyhow, I am a super quick reader, a speed reader if you will.

My favorite book this summer was a gift from David, I mean the kitties, for my b-day. It was called "The Memory Keeper's Daughter " by Kim Edwards. You can read more about it here but it's about a man in the 1960's who after his wife has twins, one healthy boy and one girl with down syndrome, asks the nurse to take the girl and drop her off at an institution. The father tells the mother the girl was stillborn and it deeply emotionally impacts her. The nurse, who is single and wants a child decides to raise her on her own. The decision the father and the nurse made that night provide a very interesting story line(s), The father and the nurse keep in touch with letters but don't meet until 20 years later and the end of the book. It's a really good read.

I am reading Authenticity by Diedre Madden right now. It's ok, a book has to be pretty bad for me to stop halfway through.

Next up I'll dive into a Bridgit Jones's Diary type book...Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner.

I am off to Baltimore tomorrow for a week to visit my mom, so I'll be doing LOTS of reading while I am off of work and just relaxing! Poor D has to work all by himself!

Hu Yong Yi

Ok, how great is this artist? I have to have one of his prints to go over the crib, or maybe for the living room?

More B-day pics

Apparently, one can only add 5 pics at a time...so here are a few more of the Cottage and one of the Sundy House brunch for your viewing pleasure.

Birthday Memoirs Part 3

Went to the Sundy House on my actual day with friends from Michigan-April and Zack, but forgot my camera. Went to Sol Kitchen for dinner then to GiGi's for some dancing.

For the big celebration, about 30 of us gathered at the lovely Cottage in Lake Worth.

There was even a magician who stopped by and made us elaborate balloon animals and did amazing card tricks- some with fire. Check out the picture of the magician and David with the deck on fire!

On Sunday I had a "girl's brunch" at the Sundy House. Ate too much food, drank too many mimosas. Perfect day with my girls!

Till next year!

Birthday Memoirs Part 2

I always include July 4th as a part of my b-day since it's just 2 days away. De Ja Vu-we went to Tom's place off of Atlantic to watch the fireworks on the beach. You can see at least three fireworks displays up and down the beach with the main one straight ahead. I love Florida. Tom made an awsome "pre-game" dinner and "special" lemonade. Thanks Mr.T!

Birthday memoirs Part 1

Thought I'd share a few photos from my birthday week! My friends certainly had me partying till the cows came home!

This is from the balcony of the RiverWalk hotel off of Las Olas in Ft Lauderdale. We stayed there overnight, enjoyed an scrumpoius dinner-note the mini chocolate cakes-yum, and then had brunch and mimosas at the Jazz Fest the next day. Ronnie liked the golden lion at the entrance of the hotel, and yes I know the picture is upside down, but I am nowhere near a techie so it's staying.

Quilt progress

84 down...16 to go.... It's looking pretty darn good!

I want this!!!!!!

Damn, my birthday passed. Happy Battle of the Boyne Day is this week, according to my Tim McGraw calendar (I am embarrased) . Anyhow...I want this.