Soccer Widow

This one is for you Ana-and all the other soccer/football/basketball widow's of the world:

This last week I have made a new best friend: my I-Pod. You see, the World Cup has started and I am married to a latin. That means at all times the game is on as loud as it can go. D announced that he would be working part-no make that spare-time during the month of June. Because we work from home, I needed to be able to concentrate while proceeding to keep the business on track. I cannot do it with GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLL, GOOAAAL, GOOAAAAL, GOOOOOAAAAAL, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL is being screamed at by the announcer (ok, and David too) every flippin 10 minutes. So, my I-Pod, the Killers, Jack Johnson and I have become one. I am so racking up blackmail points for when I want to take days off to say do more important things than watch some stupid soccer game-like getting a pedicure or having lunch with one of my several teacher friends who have the summer off.

It's not just the soccer games, but because of our limited cable abilities(go ahead and laugh Crackin'), the only channel the game is on on our huge 10 inch tv is the spanish channel. The thing is, it's not your regular football halftime discussion with 4 overweight ex-pro coaches and players but rather one overweight announcer, a mariachi band and a gaggle of big breasted bimbos(seriously, one had knockers so huge they were each the size of my head and she was wearing what looked like a toddler's bikini top on them). On top of this, dear hubby printed out a set of rules for wives during the world cup. This list was sent from his brother. Hubby then sent it to poor Ana's husband (poor Ana, not her husband). He yells "Yellow card" whenever the poor dear breaks any infraction. At least he has to leave the house to go to work! Lucky, lucky girl! On to the rules, some of these include:

3. If you have to pass by the TV, please crawl on the floor and without distracting me. If you stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put your clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor during WC month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute(lie, he isn't mute when he yells GOOOAAAAL) , unless I require a refill of my drink. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the phone or pick up the baby that fell fromthe second floor-won't happen.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies or and other events that require my attendance because a) I will not go b) I will not go c) I will not go

Lastly, here is a picture of dear hubby and our furbabies he is holding hostage during the 114th game. Notice he is snuggled on a bed, which is in the guest room, which is right next to the office. Yup, he has to watch it 10 feet from me because it's more comfortable than the downstairs couch. Is it almost over yet?