Last night I had the strangest dream

No, really.....and I can't analyze it one bit.

My dream starts off with me living with a few college roommates. David is no where to be found in this dream. We are at a pool party and I get the referral call. I ask the voice on the other end where I go now and she says "You have to come to the ladies shoe department at Sears to get your information". So, I rush to this old three story mall and run through the entire mall, sweating, to get to Sears (why didn't I just park at Sears, who knows). Once I get to the entrance I look up and see it doesn't say Sears but ChinaWorld. I run to the shoe department and this little old Chinese lady screams at me to "Calm Dow, Calm Dow"! She instructs me to get in line behind a group of 10 guys getting their law degree from Florida A & M University. I have to wait until they get their degrees, then I will be handed my referral. I am clearly flirting with one that looks like Taye Diggs. So, the guys get their degrees and then I get handed a crumpled up piece of paper with a picture of a 9 year old girl on it. Her name is Xiou Zaw and her DOB is 04/10/81. I start crying to the lady "But, she's 9 (note the DOB, she's really 26), I asked for a baby! " And then she takes the picture, rips it up and says "No baby for you", then I woke up.

Over the hump?

Here we are. Officially over the year and a half mark. I keep telling myself the WORSE case scenario brings our referral in April of 2009.

Did I celebrate this mark yesterday? Not too much. I spent the evening with my pooches curled up on the couch with me reading my new favorite book. If you are in the process of adopting, or just want to know what we are going through please read China Ghosts, My Daughter's Journey to America, My Passage to Fatherhood. You can read more about it at www.chinaghosts.com As the title states, it's about a father's journey to his baby girl adopted from China. I wiped away many tears reading this book. It could very well have been about D and I. The father was happy with just he and his wife, even after the infertility treatments, he figured being childless was meant to be. His wife he said however was "hurt down to her soul without a child of her own". She brought up the idea of China, and though the wait was horrendous (they adopted during the SARS epidemic and waited two years) they never looked back. It's a great read, only took me a day (night) and a half to finish it. There is alot of good information in there about the one child policy and explains that most of these abandoned girls are actually second daughters, most of them have an older sister out there still living with the biological family. The writer explains that he believes his daughter will always have these "China Ghosts" surrounding her, who are her biological family wondering what ever became of her......

And we wait.....

Sorry I haven't been around, painting the living room and installing crown molding has been an overwhelming task.

As we approach the 18 month mark next week...it seems the closer we get, the more I feel that our lives are on hold. We have to be past the halfway mark. Period.

Referrals are finally through November 2005. It took the CCAA SIX months to get through Nov 05 LID's. Holy crap. From what I understand it will take them a full year to get through April 07 LID's because it was such a huge influx of dossiers (people submitting before the May 07 rule changes). Not to be selfish, but THANK GOD we have an April 06 LID and not an April 07! There are only four and a half months worth of files in China until they get to ours. As you know, the only problem is this doesn't mean we'll have our referral in four and half months. Oh no, not even close. It could actually be anywhere from 12 months to eek-24 more months or beyond, depending on how fast or slow the CCAA decides to go. If they keep referring out 5 days at a time, we have another 28 months to wait (Feb 2010), if they refer out 7 days at a time we have 20 months to wait (July 2009), and if they speed things up to 10 days at a time (very doubtful as they haven't accomplished 10 days in the last year and don't plan to probably), we will have 14 more months to wait and will have our referral by Christmas of next year.

Not knowing how much longer we have to wait to finally be parents is really getting to me lately. I feel like I can't plan anything beyond a couple of months from now. We want to go on one last ski trip, does that mean we have to go this season? When can I start decorating her room, when can I start looking for a pediatrician? When should I get my shots? Everything is in limbo and so so so frustrating!

Oh, and now there is word that the great CCAA says no-no to con-current adoptions. As in if you submit your paperwork somewhere else, then NO (Chinese) BABY FOR YOU! So going anywhere else is not an option.

If we only knew WHEN, life would be SO much easier...I know, I know, all in God's time and there is a reason for everything! Please people, I know those things are true but let's put a moratorium on those statements for a bit, until I get some zen back into my head. I'd rather hear "Well, that just sucks, let me buy you a drink". Oy vey!

More Mackinac Mayhem

Mackinac Island: Horse Poop, fudge and one fabulous wedding

Heather and Dan are finally married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole gang partook in Planes, Trains and Automobiles last week up to Mackinac Island. Actually, scratch the Trains and Automobiles and substitute Ferries and Horse and Carriages. The six of us did have to sprint through the entire Detroit airport to make our connecting flight in under 8 minutes, but that's another story......

Once we finally reached our destination we were in for a lovely wedding vacation. The water surrounding the 8 mile around island is crystal clear and the weather could not have been lovelier. The only mode of transport is bike or horse or on foot. We all got our share of exercise, but piled back on the calories through food and spirits.

The wedding itself was a beautiful outdoor gazebo event. The cocktail party the night before was held at the Grande. The Grande is a huge old hotel that boosts the longest patio in the US.

A picture is worth 1000 words, so here are a few to tell hte rest of the story!

Artisic Vision

Wanna see my Christmas gift to my hubbins?

I am getting these photos that I took and edited enlarged and framed. I love photoshop and these photos now look like paintings!

Happy (?) 17 month anniversary

17 months down, ? ? ? to go.......

Now there is word on RQ that one agency is getting preferential treatment and people who are clients of that particular agency are getting their referrals months ahead of everyone else. And here we all thought in the beginning that China adoption was the most black and white way to go.....

Fortune cookie

Tonight we were feeling very lazy after a crazy hectic weekend and ordered in from Pei Wei. David's fortune in his cookie said "Your dream will soon come true".... on the back it read FATHER with the Chinese word for it. Pretty cool, huh? My Chinese word was March. March 2008 referral would make me pee my pants with excitement, March 2009 not so much.

I tagged myself

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line four, and write what it says. From "Falling Leaves", a book I borrowed from FCC mom Lee about a girl growing up in China in the mid 20^th century.
"Shanghai shining imported motor cars were speeding down….."

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
Annie, my crazy Goldendoodle (I am writing this while laying in bed on the laptop)

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
What Not to Wear at noon while taking a lunch break (working from home has it’s perks!)

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The rain pouring down outside. We are under some tropical system-could become a tropical depression soon

When did you last step outside?
About a half hour ago I decided to take the dogs out to pee in the pouring down rain. Of course a minute after I came inside, it stopped. Now I have two wet dogs, one of which is snuggling next to me on my freshly washed sheets. Oh well.

What were you doing?
See above.

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Another FCC mom’s blog. Gave me inspiration to do this questionnaire. These are good when there are no adoption rumors floating about.

Did you dream last night?
Yes, actually it was around 7 this morning, I dreamed that I went to the grocery store and when I came out I saw that I left the dogs in a hot car. They were alive, just hot, all their hair fell off and they were almost dead. Geez, what a way to start my day with a terrible dream like that. What was that about? I have wicked nightmare's at least twice a week. Last week I had a dream an alligator climbed in the window of my car and ate Annie. What is with my nightmares about my car and my dogs?

When did you last laugh?

In my salsa class tonight.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A cross and three abstract taupe and aqua-ish colored pictures that I am not crazy about but match my new duvet. .

Seen anything weird lately?
A bit about OJ Simpson on the news. I turned off the tv because the scumbag doesn’t deserve any media attention

What is the last film you saw?
Knocked up. Twice. Oh, saw Anchor Man on tv Sunday after/during the Emmy’s. I always think I don’t watch that much tv, guess I do.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Buy a time machine that would catapult me into the future to Gotcha Day! Seriously-Move to a bigger house. Pay off our debt. Give lots of money to Operation Smile and Half the Sky. Help family. Buy two new cars. Go on vacation to the Tahitian Islands. Put the rest in retirement.

Tell me something about you that I don’t know?
I hate ricotta cheese. It’s late and I can’t think of anything more creative. That will have to do.

If you could change one thing about the world, what would you do?
Have the ability to impeach Bush.

Comment to President Bush.
Can you take an early retirement idiot?

Would you ever consider living abroad?
Maybe. If the opportunity arose. Ireland perhaps?

What do you want to say to God when you get to heaven?
Thanks for letting me in! Can I meet Sinatra now?

BTW....was fooling around with a picture I took of Fergiegirl today....rather Warhol-ish isn't it?

Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!

No new adoption news. Sorry kids. However, I do have another little story to share with you to make you laugh out loud (at my expense, of course).

Last Friday I went to the Grocery Pit, aka the Winn Dixie south of my house. I always always always go to Publix because the dregs of society can usually be found at the former store. I was in a hurry to pick up some potato salad for a bbq so I ran to WD. When I reached the deli area, where said potato salad could be found, I slipped on some I-don't-want-to-know-what-that-is on the floor and fell hard on my ass. And my flip flops broke, yes both of them. The top and the bottoms separated leaving me to walk, no shuffle, on just the bottoms. To make matters worse, the 80 year old Indian manager of the store is screaming at me to fill out some accident form. After about his 6th request, I barked back at him "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I AM NOT GOING TO SUE YOU LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE!". The old dude followed me all the way to my car, which was a 20 minute trip considering I had to shuffle at a tortoise pace the whole way. My butt was bruised, but not as bad as my ego. Ay carumba!

Time of the month

No....not "that" time of the month.....it's referral time! Although they only did 4 days this month, I suppose I should be positive and say we are 4 days closer. Oy vey.

We are keeping plenty busy putting our house on the market and looking for something roomier. I probably won't be blogging much this month, don't miss me too much!

Not sure what to think.....

This was on RQ yesterday. I am really not sure what to think about this.....

I am again seeing children with repaired special needs being referred to parents who are in the non-special-needs program. This cropped up last year and then seemed to fade away, but now it seems to be making a comeback.

So far these include things like heart surgeries, and extra digits (toes, fingers) that have been removed.

It can also include a repaired cleft, which to me is a bit scary for a family expecting NSN since children can require multiple surgeries for this until their faces stop growing and changing. Also, children who have cleft issues can have problems with other organs in their bodies. The same “issue” in utero that causes the cleft can also make some of the internal organs not develop properly and some parents who adopt a waiting child with a cleft do not know their child has these other problems until they are home with them.

A few agencies are now starting to warn clients of the possibility of being referred a child with a repaired special need so I’m assuming they have heard something from the CCAA that tells them this is will be the new policy.

FCC Brunch

Thank you Lee for hosting a wonderful brunch yesterday. Here is the (not quite) Red couch picture of (from left) Brea, Natalie, Mattie, Sammi and Gigi. This was Gigi's first big outing since they came home from China last Tuesday? I can't wait until Amelie is on the couch too!

Better chance of winning the lotto....

What? Getting a referral in 2008? Yeah, that too! But what I am talking about is changing our request from a girl as young as possible to twins. Yup, finally convinced David that we should ask for twins. Worse case, we still get one beautiful little girl. Best case, we get two. From what I understand only one in every 2000 referrals is a twin referral, but you never know!

August babes

Referrals came out yesterday-7 days of LID's-again. Seems to be the ongoing trend. I now have 156 LID's ahead of me. So 156 /7=22.28. So I have 22 and a half more months to wait. At least I am under two years now!

Summer Reading

Last month at our FCC meeting, our "troop leader" lent us all out books to read. I am in the middle of the last one and if you enjoy reading novels these are three wonderful ones:

. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress (Dai Sijie) about the lives of two teens, childhood friends who have been sent to a small Chinese village for "re-education" during Mao's Cultural Revolution

.The Waiting Child (Cindy Champnella) An extraordinary true story of human resilience in the face of tremendous odds. Adopted by an American family at age four, Jaclyn goes to her new home with a great burden. She had to leave behind a little boy who had been under her charge at the Chinese orphanage. Jaclyn inspires two families, several agencies, and two governments to cooperate to reunite her with 'her baby.' Everyone who reads this story will believe in the power of love to change the world.

.Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (Lisa See). See's engrossing novel set in remote 19th-century China details the deeply affecting story of lifelong, intimate friends (laotong, or "old sames") Lily and Snow Flower, their imprisonment by rigid codes of conduct for women and their betrayal by pride and love.

I am reading the Snow Flower book right now and was teary eyed reading about the footbinding. It is a probability that my daughter's biological grandmother or great-grandmother was made to go through this torture in the name of "beauty".

She ate what?

I don't want to bore you to tears, my dear readers, with all my dull stories of my animals' antics. However, I have no child antics to bore you with so here goes. Let's play "Guess what Annie ate this week?" Last week it was dental floss and a half pan of brownies. This week my dear neighbor was watching her while we were at Mai Kai. She put a ceramic water bowl in her crate, no biggie, right? WRONG. Friggin dog ate a 2 inch chunk out of it, and I am not being generous or exaggerating with the size. That night I did not sleep, sure she was going to start vomiting blood at 3 a.m.. Nope, she pooped it right out the next day. I swear I could see her sweating when she did her duty. That could not have felt good. My mom had a good idea "why don't you just put a muzzle on her"? Nothing, and I mean nothing is safe! Someone at the dog park told me goldendoodles don't grow up until they are 3, so fantastic, I have two more years and two month of this? She'll just start behaving when we go to China I guess!

Mai Kai

In all the years I have lived in the area I have never been to the famous Mai Kai. Last week we finally went for my friend Heather's 29th (I am being nice in case you are reading this Heather) birthday. When we stepped inside I felt like we were in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. The food was amazing, as were the potent Hidden Pearl drinks. We had a table right next to the stage where dancers performed routines from Thailand to Hawaii. Hope you had a good night Heather!

The start of my 6th trimester

We just passed the 15th month mark of waiting for sweet Amelie. I am really hoping against all hope that we are passed the halfway mark. I think I'll explode if we are not. The last few months they have referred out from 5-7 days of LID's at a time. What does that mean? There are 161 LID's before us. 7 into 161 equals 23. Twenty three more months ahead of us at this pace. Putting us at a June 2009 referral. Everyone, please pray for a speed up for us!

Gigi's Gotcha Day!

Congrats to Ana and Ron who finally have their daughter Gigi! They had their gotcha day on Monday. She is a cutie!