POSSIBLY THE VERY BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER!!
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with
a
satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and
says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question...
If anyone needs it explained - read it a second time.
Figures my brother sent me this.....
The Chinese calendar is based on a combination of lunar and solar movements. The lunar cycle is about 29.5 days. In order to "catch up" with the solar calendar the Chinese insert an extra month once every few years (seven years out of a 19-yearcycle). This is the same as adding an extra day on leap year. This is why, according to the solar calendar, the Chinese New Year falls on a different date each year.
New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are celebrated as a family affair, a time of reunion and thanksgiving. The celebration was traditionally highlighted with a religious ceremony given in honor of Heaven and Earth, the gods of the household and the family ancestors.
The sacrifice to the ancestors, the most vital of all the rituals, united the living members with those who had passed away. Departed relatives are remembered with great respect because they were responsible for laying the foundations for the fortune and glory of the family.
The presence of the ancestors is acknowledged on New Year's Eve with a dinner arranged for them at the family banquet table. The spirits of the ancestors, together with the living, celebrate the onset of the New Year as one great community. The communal feast called "surrounding the stove" or weilu. It symbolizes family unity and honors the past and present generations.
For the Chinese this is the Year of the Pig. The Chinese zodiac follows a twelve year cycle following twelve animals - snake, rat, pig, dog, goat, bull, and another six animals. The zodiac is ranked in order of the animals, who came to pay their respects to Buddha when he was sitting under the tree.
Every twelve year, cycle also starts with the animal current in that year. This year is a new, 12 year cycle beginning with Porky. So this year is- called the Year of the Golden Pig. Which is supposed to bring lots of prosperity and money.
As in Britain, people in other parts of Europe create their own nativity scenes for Christmas. This also happens in the US where stores and hotels will have a small scene of Mary, baby Jesus, a couple of angels, a cow and lambs etc. Similarly the Chinese in Singapore make their own 'nativity' display to celebrate their festivities of the New Year, but with a difference! This year they have Walt Disney type plastic and rubber pig mannequins wearing proper clothes and shoes and standing on two feet offering prayers or welcoming guests. One wonders how they are going to handle the year of the snake or dog?
Despite these animal capers, the Chinese are very good at the almanac - their lunar and solar calendars are very accurate. The Chinese New Year started on Monday 30th. January 1995 because that is when the new moon was 'born'. In quite a ridicules contrast the Muslim scholars go out to sight the moon for Ramadan. If they don't 'see' the moon then the Ramadan is not cancelled but the moon is as assumed to be there anyway!
